First draft

Hi! Dear Sir or Madam, To whoeve Hi there!

You just adopted my dog I guess. I wanted to say thank you. He’s a good dog. I’ve had him for millennia ages, ever since he was a little pup and he was always a great companion. A great guard dog, for sure, but also just a really good friend.

He responds both to “Kerbie” and “Beast” and is very well-trained. He used to guard the Underworld my workplace, but with all the modern technology he’s not really needed that much anymore. And honestly, we don’t get that many people nowadays anyway, what with all the competition. My wife wants us to close the place for a few decades and travel, but Kerbie isn’t quite made for that lifestyle. He prefers to have a stable living situation. I’ll probably pick him up again one day, but you might be dead by then

You should know he doesn’t like burly men; he got kidnapped once. It was a sort of dare, as far as I understood. It traumatized him a bit, took a while before he was his spirited self again after that. He is also very fond of lamb. And tends to jump on people he likes and lick their faces. It’s hard to escape his three one head, but he is really just a gentle giant when you get to know him.

Btw, if anyone insists they see three heads, or any snakes, it’s just some sort of optical illusion, like restaurants serving food on small plates, so you don’t notice how little the portions are. Really, nothing to worry about.

I hope you and Kerbie have a great adventure together!

Hades Kerbie’s dad

(The image is Hades and Persephone by Eduard Trewendt, 1864, with small modifications)