Disconnected and dysfunctional

I used to be a nerdy little bookworm as a kid and as a teenager. And honestly a bit of a couch potato. If I could sit in a comfy armchair with a book, I would sit in a comfy armchair with a book.

I also used to be a “good girl”. Doing what I was expected to do and following the rules both spoken and implied. So I would sit “properly”, never run around in the corridors and favour academic achievements over physical prowess.

It was subconcious - I never really decided not to move - but it was happening and it had consequences.

I was just 12 when a doctor told me that my knee pain was due to worn cartilages and there was nothing to do about it. By the time I entered my twenties I not only had bad knees, but also a wonky ankle, flat feet and regular lower back pain.

And I don’t think I even understood how much it affected me mentally…

I wasn’t happy with the way I looked and I ingored as best as I could the way I felt in my own body.

Year 2013. I’m 24. Sloping shoulders, swayback posture with my pelvis way forward and duck feet. Of course I hurt.

It changed, thankfully

It happened in 2015. The beginning of the change, I mean. It was a cold Norwegian January and I was an ever-so-nerdy bookish PhD student. That day I went to a proper gym - probably for the first time in my life. I was suffering from a new-years-resolutionitis and had a vague feeling I should “start exercising (somehow)”. I was looking for something that would require as little energy and time as possible.

Well that trip to the gym never repeated itself. But boy oh boy, was it an eye-opener. I was weak, clumsy, awkward and stiff. I had no idea how to move.

Thankfully, I had enough self-awareness left to realize I had no control and was on my way to an injury.

Coming home that day, I started searching the internet. Trying to answer questions like why can’t I squat? And this was the real beginning. The nerd’s way.

I was studying biophysics and suddenly realized that the mechanics of the human body was actually right up my alley!

I loved reading about it. And I still do!

And before I knew it, I was applying what I was reading to myself and eventually advising others. Also reading more, taking courses, and learning more.

Movement became my passion.

Reconnecting with myself

I don’t go to the gym. I don’t really play sports. I have a full time job and two kids and I don’t enjoy gyms and sports enough to make time for them.

Instead I just move.

I make space for movement in my daily life and in my mind, because I know now that it is essential.

My movement practice keeps me pain free, confident, moving with ease, able to enjoy physical activity and connected to my body and the world around me.

I finally feel at home in my body. I finally feel like I belong. And it’s a good feeling.

Year 2019. I seem to be holding a child in every single picture. But my shoulders are straighter, my pelvis is in its right place and I feel good.